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Can’t Schmuck the Tuck



“The show that is the sworn enemy of lying, pomposity, smugness, and groupthink!” This is the mantra of Tucker Carlson Tonight; the highly touted primetime show that is somehow simultaneously the political magnum opus of /ourguy/ zoomerism and /straightshooter/ boomerism. It is hard to think of another politico–elected or unelected–with as much political real estate as Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson. He has galvanized both the Greatest Story Never Told imbibing reactionary zoomer, with his misanthropic mockery, callous cynicism, and incredulous irony and the Saving Private Ryan guzzling orthodox boomer, with his clever candor, feet-to-the fire fervor, and irreverent idiosyncrasies.

Trust the Fund

The uniting force? It boils down to a political pariah label; both will say Tucker is just that. However, Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is no outsider. According to Rasmussen, (just kidding) name length and elitism have a causal correlation; and with a name like Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, you’d think he was an heir to some frozen dinner fortune, (an American dietary staple). Oh, wait. In fact, Tucker is a trust fund baby…which he, in a self-effacing way, has joked about. This fact does not somehow degrade Carlson; there is of course nothing inherently wrong with being a trust fund baby, especially via a Swede-owned company…based. It simply highlights something obvious about Carlson: when you come from money, the last thing you want to do is go from money.

Again, there is nothing wrong with that either. What this conveys about Carlson is that coming from a system that has produced and engendered such wealth provides no incentive to relegate oneself from or destroy, such a system. (Diogenes might be an exception to that rule, but only after he was caught and banished for debasing currency did he go full Diogenes…) I mean, after all, Tucker did formally apply to the CIA; his father was an ambassador under the first Bush and was CEO for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which was literally a government-sponsored news agency. He also worked for Voice of America, another U.S. government-funded propaganda outlet that over the years interviewed (and lent much credence to) Frank Wisner, who (on record) started Operation Mockingbird, the CIA program to infiltrate “independent” U.S. press outlets.

“Dickie” Carlson somehow went from a gonzo journalist to a bank vice-president giving sweetheart loans to Ed Meese to media magnate in less than a decade. Not long after that, Carlson became vice-chairman of the FDD (Foundation for Defense of Democracies), an “counter-terrorism” Israeli lobbying firm funded by MEGA Group members such as Charles and Edgar Bronfman and Michael Steinhardt, as well as Bernie Marcus, Haim Saban, Paul Singer, Sheldon Adelson, James Woolsey, Richard Perle, Douglas Feith, Bill Kristol, and Michael Ledeen.

All that being said (and “sins of the father” in mind), the portrait of Tucker as some firebrand, shoe-leather, working-class outsider who’s mmmbased and redpilled doesn’t stand up to the trier of fact. He’s been on the inside since before he was born and continued after where he grew up to work under the tutelage of such based volks like Paul Greenberg at The Arkansas Democrat Gazette and Adam Myerson at Policy Review, which Carlson went on to edit.

The same Policy Review employed the likes of John Bolton, Robert Kagan, Elliot Abrams, and Peter Berkowitz. Policy Review, founded by the Neocon Don(stein)s, The Heritage Foundation, had much overlap in membership with American Enterprise Institute, another neocon think tank which birthed, then circumcised, oops I mean circumscribed, the most infamous neocon think tank, Project for the New American Century.


This think tank, co-founded by Robert Kagan, like Carlson, a Policy Review “contributor”, published “Rebuilding America’s Defenses” in September of 2000. This document advocated “benevolent domination by one power” (U.S.) better known as World Domination. The document most infamously stated re Zio-goal implementation: “Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event – like a new Pearl Harbor.”

That new Pearl Harbor came in the form of Sept. 11, 2001. At least Half a dozen of the PNAC founders served in top posts in the W. administration, many defense-related. PNAC was the first to advocate regime change in Iraq in 1998 and drafted a letter to the W admin touting 38 important signatories on Sept 20, 2001, many of them elite Jews, clamoring for war in every corner of the Middle East. The letter, drafted by Richard Perle, the architect of PNAC and its key positions, progenerated the link between Saddam and Al-Qaeda–a Mossad contrivance. American Enterprise Institute, the aforementioned think tank which bred PNAC and was incestuous with Carlson alum The Heritage Foundation, has “close ties to the Likud Party in Israel” — according to a paper released by MIT.

A letter from PNAC to Bush Jr. during post 9/11 influence jockeying stated it bluntly: “Israel’s fight is our fight … for reasons both moral and strategic, we need to stand with Israel in its fight against terrorism.” Moreover, per the MIT paper, “In July 1996, Richard Perle, Douglas Feith and the Wurmser couple wrote the notorious paper for an Israeli think tank charting a roadmap for Likud super hawk and then-incoming Israeli prime minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu. The paper is called “A Clean Break: A New Strategy for Securing the Realm“. Perle, Feith, and the Wurmsers tell Bibi that Israel must shelve the Oslo Accords, the so-called peace process, the concept of “land for peace”, go for it, and permanently annex the entire West Bank and the Gaza Strip. The paper also recommends that Israel must insist on the elimination of Saddam, and the restoration of the Hashemite monarchy in Baghdad. This would be the first domino to fall, and then regime change would follow in Syria, Lebanon, Iran, and Saudi Arabia.”

Richard Perle and Douglas Feith, the Undersecretary of Defense under W, were both on record working with both the Likud Party in Israel and the Bush administration–but that collusion is anti-Semitic. In fact, Douglas Feith, under pressure from multiple FBI investigations’ targeting him, quit the FBI hastily. Why? Because a defense analyst working in Feith’s office was caught leaking classified information to Israel via AIPAC and was sentenced to prison for it. Feith was also caught “manipulating” intelligence to link Saddam to Al-Qaeda. Of course, today, Feith walks the streets a free and wealthy man. Indeed, it is quite a tangled web they weave. There is no doubt that these overwhelmingly Jewish ran neocon “think tanks” were literally the shadow government in terms of foreign policy during the W years. And where was Swanson Carlson during all this? Well, during the late 90’s when PNAC, founded by Bill Kristol and Robert Kagan, was engineering the “catalyzing event” and thus the myriad wars on behalf of Israel, Carlson was working where? Oh, The Weekly Standard…a neocon rag where his bosses were…Bill Kristol…and…Robert Kagan…yeah.

But based and redpilled! right? “You can’t cuck the Tuck!” Says the boomer and the zoomer. To add to the purity of the red pill, Tucker even went to Iraq during the war and wrote a groveling piece for Esquire praising the U.S. Military contractors there. Tucker now disparages his former Zionist traitor bosses Bill Kristol and Robert Kagan in his most recent book, calling Kagan an “idiot” …Whoa! Hard-hitting, yeah? Kristol played his part in the finkelplay by describing Carlson’s 2018 commentaries as “close now to racism” and “ethnonationalism of some kind, let’s call it”. Interestingly, while Kristol was shoring up dissident support for his former colleague, Tucker was busy attending the funeral of his good friend Dennis Hof, a long-time partner of Jewish Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, and proprietor of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch brother of Las Vegas, Nevada.

It’s almost as if Carlson is a mere opportunist who attaches himself to the popular brand of “conservatism” in order to stay relevant–only to denounce that tarnished brand later to stay relevant, too. Just watch his interview with John Bolton from 2018, where he really destroys! Bolton, his former colleague at Policy Review, for his hawkishness and refusal to retrospectively denounce the same Iraq War Tucker once supported. In fact, in 2003, Tucker exclaimed, “I like John McCain! And I would have happily voted for him.”

Well, zoomers might say he recently took the red pill. However, Tucker’s most recent statements regarding “9-11 trutherism” show signs of Kosher indigestion. In the impromptu interview, Tucker claimed he was so “enraged” at Jesse Ventura’s mere doubt about the official story of 9/11 whilst speaking at a Ron Paul event, that his moral rectitude divinely jettisoned him from his seat and guided him out the door. While first expounding on the antecedent “stupidity” of 9/11 curiosity, Tucker then followed with the consequent: he’d “believe anything” if there was evidence, but there “isn’t any.”

This is a classic example of the “Appeal to the stone” fallacy: “Dismissing a statement as absurd, invalid, or incorrect, without giving proof of its absurdity.” Here, Tucker appeals to the ‘stein’ of the official narrative. The same narrative peddled by the likes of John Bolton, Bill Kristol, and Robert Kagan; the same people Carlson these days denounces with such unwavering valor. This, my friends, is a prime example of Finkel-think. Tucker concludes the interview with deep philosophical reasoning to edify his pro-official-story logic to his clearly simple-minded conspiratorial interlocutors: “I hate that 9/11 crap,” Carlson waxes, “I wish they’d just kick those people out.” Yeah, that’s Tucker Carlson, clearly an ardent practitioner of the Socratic method.

 New Grist, Same Shill

You know what, though? I’m not giving Tucker enough credit. With employers like revolutionary Jewish icons Bill Kristol and William Kagan, and mega-corporations beholden to the stock market quarterly profit motive like CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News, how could Tucker not be based and red-pilled? The blackrock…I mean bedrock…principles which Tucker holds dear is, of course, indomitable as he has spent his whole career working on behalf of ultra-Zionist propaganda outlets; which of course advocate our cause with unfettered vehemence. For example, Rupert Murdoch, the owner of Tucker Carlson Tonight, whose mother was an Orthodox Jew, is a fierce advocate of Israel and he proves it with his deep pockets.

In 1982, he was awarded “Communications Man of the Year” by the American Jewish Congress. He also was the underwriter for the Bill Kristol and Tucker alum The Weekly Standard. Interestingly, the paper, which was the main vector for Iraq War bloodlust, has lost money every year since its inception. The goal for Murdoch of course was never truth, but propaganda, even forsaking millions to push it. Tucker now denounces Kristol, but not Murdoch, because well, Murdoch underwrites Tucker Carlson Tonight. So much for the refreshing bravery of Tucker Carlson. It is more like selective bravery; Tucker is having his cake and eating it too…pacifying truth-seeking viewers while satiating his boss Murdoch. Tucker often claims he can “say whatever he wants” on his show, but it’s obvious that denouncing Murdoch and his Israel first agenda would result in his subsequent firing. So, he can denounce Kristol, but not the underwriter of Kristol, which happens to be his current boss…that’s where Carlson’s bravery ends, and the obsequiousness begins. So much for the unabashed “truth-telling!” Tucker.

Moreover, Murdoch is known to be a close friend of former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon. He has numerous business investments in Israeli companies. He owned an Israeli tech firm News Datacom Research Ltd when it was raided for a suspected $100 million dollar tax fraud scheme. The company specialized in encrypting satellite boxes for pay television broadcasters and Murdoch, owning many media conglomerates, soon made sure the Israeli company gained dominion over the market. Murdoch is also friends with Larry Silverstein, who bought the asbestos-ridden WTC complex a month before 9/11. As former New York Governor George Pataki said, “There is no newspaper in the U.S. more supportive of Israel than the [Murdoch’s] New York Post.” Murdoch even donated $1 million dollars to the ADL in 2017 and after accepting an ADL award in 2010, spoke about an “ongoing war against the Jews” and blamed the media and NGOs for this “war” to “delegitimize” Israel. This my friends is the boss of Tucker Carlson…the brave and fearless leader of our movement! Tucker 2024! They’ll tweet.

Why would a man of such perceived working-class virtue like Carlson be comfortable working for such a man like Murdoch? A man who, through his global news empire, owns hundreds of newspaper and media outlets worldwide and thus contributes to mass media consolidation and monopolization–which creates a hegemony of opinion and news dissemination—literally engineering “reality” for the masses. Tucker, who perennially rails against the Google and Amazon monopolies, and criticizes Amazon’s tax evasion, fails to see the plank in his own employers’ eye. Tucker never mentions Murdoch’s tax scams which resulted in his empire “siphoning off $4.5 billion of cash and shares from his Australian media businesses virtually tax-free.” Tucker, who crusades against cancel culture and the quelling of free speech, only recently did a story against the ADL— but it was in the service of Jignat Likudniks in an attempt to railroad Jonathan Greenblatt.

On a recent Tucker segment, he and his guest from The Grayzone, (a decent paper I will admit) were supposed to be lampooning the fact that Bill Kristol and other neocons are supporting Biden-Harris. However, the Grayzone reporter, to Tucker’s chagrin, lays out the fact that Trump has ultra-neocon (and former Tucker colleague) Elliot Abrams overseeing Iran and Venezuela. A fact Tucker has never seemed to discuss. Tucker’s whole show is about exposing the hypocrisy of politicians; and in this segment, his hypocrisy was exposed writ large. Another example is Tucker’s deafening silence on Blackrock and Larry Fink using billions of federal dollars from the CARES act to buy up their own corporate bond debt while Americans starve. “BlackRock, as the sponsor for the Fed, made 47 percent of its purchases in BlackRock ETFs.”

A recent monologue excerpt from Carlson sums the flaws of his canonical edicts he espouses—used as a clever rhetorical vehicle to posit Carlson as the deliverer of gospel truth. Speaking of the changes in America since Covid, Tucker pontificated: “7 months ago, the Chinese were enslaved, we were free. That was the difference and it was permanent; it would never change. Not one in a thousand Americans doubted that.” I wonder if Tucker’s zoomer acolytes would admit we were “free” before Covid. I thought we were enslaved by the Jewish ran Federal Reserve and the megabank cartels? How are we “free” when Epstein gets to walk away essentially scot-free in 2008 with full immunity for his cronies after abusing children? How are we free when Tucker and his former colleagues manipulated us into going to war in more countries than you can count on one hand—of which many are still in place?

How are we free when 3 asset managers–BlackRock, Vanguard, and State Street, – are the majority shareholder in almost 90% of S&P 500 firms, including Apple, Microsoft, ExxonMobil, General Electric, and Coca-Cola? Somehow Tucker’s stone-faced feigned earnestness tricks even the most open minds in our milieu. Tucker is certainly not free to say whatever he wants. He has owners, shareholders, and the 9:30 am bell on Wall Street will always be louder than the liberty bell in Philadelphia. One moment Tuckers’ highfalutin rhetoric touts our unfettered freedom, the next he claims “China” controls our politicians. Which is it?

For too many, Tucker has been unduly erected as a hero of our movement, a political Master Chief, a cybernetically enhanced talk show super solider. Every show is like a disorientating flashbang, as Tucker verbally sloshes through the puddles of neon rain—through the Manhattan cyberpunk mecca; on a mission to hellaciously deliver the news about our overlords at Google and Amazon, and the corrupt politicians destroying the Fatherland. He speaks in bitter edicts, lampooning clown world—with a countenance that shifts from consternation to cackling. His rhetoric is scorched earth, as he lays siege to the sacred cows (in-between Pfizer and J.P. Morgan ads.) He is the savior, fighting with unrequited passion, engulfed in a swamp of camembert and baguettes on his terrace in Western Maine; a moveable feast. As the adage goes, to make a TV show you gotta’ fill some scripts (and some pockets)! But hey, it’s not like he founded the Daily Caller with a Dick Cheney aide….Oh, wait.

Oh, and let’s not forget ^ this. Hey, don’t be cynical; I’m sure Tucker was simply there to expose the IDF on behalf of MSNBC.

Co-Written by Gunnar Latham and Jazzhands McFeels.

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