Caligula’s Horse Farm

The American collapse is like all things American; it’s excessive, garish, and a near self-parody in execution. This is no fall of the Soviet union, no quiet surrender and dissolution of a former superpower. This is a rapid decline somehow even more farcical and dystopian than Mike Judge’s “Idiocracy”, as if after seeing the film America collectively said “Hold my beer” and set off to make its own sequel using the entire country as a stage. Like any empire going down the tubes, you have to include a story beat involving absolutely ludicrous political displays.

The original inspiration for all shark jumping late in a repetitive political sitcom series is the Roman Emperor Caligula. “Little Boots” is most infamous for appointing his favorite horse as consul in addition to a litany of outrages involving everything from incestuous sexual misconduct to killing people for his own personal amusement. You can find out all about Caligula by watching the documentary produced by the famous historical magazine “Penthouse”.

Viewer discretion advised.

Not be outdone, the United States would never be satisfied with something so pedestrian as appointing a particularly noble horse as senator. Instead an entire brigade of clowns, lunatics, and abominations have all been installed in various public offices. Rather than a detailed catalog of each signpost for democratic decay, I’ll just focus on the top 3 to illustrate the cosmic joke of who runs this country.

Rosa DeLauro

If you’re like me, the first time you saw Rosa DeLauro, you assumed this was a male-to-female transsexual or maybe just an old crossdresser. The reason you found this explanation to be imminently plausible is because we live in the United States of America where elderly drag-queens are an increasingly common sight in government. Rosa DeLauro is however a 77 year old Italian congresswoman married to an unscrupulous Jewish political strategist. This too is an increasingly common phenomena in American government. She is a staunch defender of the idea that human “progress” is based on the ability of humans to kill their own offspring in utero.

Lori Lightfoot

Nothing says pure nightmare fuel like Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot, who looks like an amalgam of Gollum, Ryuk and the skinless aliens in John Carpenter’s “They Live”. Lightfoot evinces a sort of Lovecraftian horror, a creature that is obviously the product of interbreeding between humans and Deep Ones. She is of course, married to a towering Jewish lesbian because this is America. Her most notable political achievement is presiding over a 50 % homicide increase in the ruins of a formerly beautiful metropolis.

“Rachel” Levine

“Rachel” Levine is the ultimate shark-jump of the Great American Decline. We have before us a 64 year old Jewish man that became convinced of his own womanhood and was lucky enough to live in a disintegrating republic ready to take that claim seriously. Levine has been nominated as US Assistant Health Secretary because as the rest of the world knows, the United States does not give one single solitary fuck about healthcare. During the Covid pandemic “Rachel” moved “her” mother out of a personal care home and into an expensive hotel room while simultaneously heading an agency which recommended nursing homes accept Covid positive patients after discharge from the hospital. In addition to being a narcissistic clownish freak, Levine is an arrogant hypocrite to boot.

We have an obvious question before us:

Is this what progress looks like? Is this a civilizational arc bent in a proud upward trajectory or is this the last days of a rudderless ship about to capsize in the gaping sphincter of a post-modern Charybdis? Onward towards paradise or downward to perdition?

Anyone that thinks these malformed creatures haunting the not-so-hallowed halls of public office constitutes a positive development is simply just coping. A collection of dysgenic, mutant freaks is running America and we aren’t going to ever reform ourselves out of that mess either. The Empress has a feminine penis and she’ll throw you in the gulag for not using her preferred gender pronouns.

Oh and as for Caligula, all that stuff about him appointing a horse as consul and screwing his own sisters is most likely just sensational propaganda. Accounts of Caligula are subject to a great deal of hearsay, bias and popular rumor. He also may’ve upset a particularly influential and gossipy Middle Eastern tribe by attempting to construct a statue of himself within the Temple walls of Jerusalem.

That’s right, present day America is actually WORSE than anything during the reign of a “mad” Roman emperor. 

Ancient Shinigami or Chicago mayor?