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A Moveable Feast: Sam Hyde’s Paradigm Shift 2070

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It’s Saturday, October 5th, 2013. The venue is Drexel University in Philadelphia, PA. On this crisp fall day at then a 122-year-old University, another earth shattering TED Talk is consummated with a shellacking so raucous it preemptively whooshed away the auburn leaves off the trees lining the campus before the waves of TED attendees could find a way to save them from falling.

Sam Hyde’s Meta-TEDX talk was etched in internet-obelisk as he belted out his final augury for 2070: “In 2070, Israel…straight up ripped off the map. BYE…BYE-BYE! BYE! Not my choice, it’s…probably what’s gonna happen.” Hyde screeches this final augury with a bitter and sardonic intensity—it was jolting and stuck out as a scornful crescendo to an otherwise light-hearted talk.

 What occurred next was only inevitable given his clearly incendiary prognosis: an authentic applause. That’s right; a room full of university liberals–teachers, students, staff and overtly progressive TED disciples applauded Sam Hyde mere seconds after that remark. Were they receiving his fervent BYE-BYE Israel remarks as an earnest warning about the evil manifestations of anti-Semitism? The audience knew 10 seconds in Sam was lampooning earnestness itself; so of course, they couldn’t possibly view his final remark as earnest. Why did they applaud?

With a TED banner, you speak, and by virtue of the banner, you are inspirational and worthy of praise. With that, the audience, firebombed by Hyde’s unabated cadence, just found themselves clapping…because well, it was a TED Talk after all. While it’s obvious many were generally amused, the thrust of Hyde’s talk displayed something particularly ironic. Sam used the audiences overt appeal to authority, ala the TED Talk, to bait them into legitimizing and applauding a savage critique of societal values (which most of them likely adhere) and a cockamamie progressivism which leads to a society not too far removed from what Hyde was “jokingly” lampooning.

This resulted in their ironic clapping at the finality of their bludgeoning. Interspersed throughout the light-hearted mockery of TED, Sam was dropping in highly charged red pills which, by virtue of his hellacious tempo, were detonated with almost zero context.

Here are some of the rapid-fire red-pills Sam sprinkled in the shrapnel of predictions. “FEMA camps”, “state-enforced homosexuality”, “gay men developing reproductive organs” to “breed a new generation of babies”, “extreme racial tension and unrest”, “the knockout game” which Hyde warned “eventually white people are going to get tired of playing.” He ridiculed the idea of hopelessly introducing Africans to technology as simple as the iPad, and not to mention, BYE-BYE Israel.

It wasn’t only the TED speakers Sam was mocking, by extension it was also the self-righteous audiences who deify the event—their half-rimmed spectacles fogged with revelation as every novel idea leaves the lips of each genius-pilled speaker. The audience thought they were in on the joke, but in many ways, they were the butt of the joke. Maybe they are self-deprecating—or as the average TED acolyte would likely say — “emotionally intelligent.”

Yeah, humility is not really a quality of TED events…nothing says humility like hundreds of “intellectuals” gathering to warm each other’s appendages with “world-changing” ideas! But why do they care? We’re just star dust, right?

The existential urgency with which Ted executes these game changing talks is staggering. Their tikkun olam style mission is in fact so urgent that they have to shelf complex talks about how the U.S. government owes trillions to mega banks who own the Federal Reserve (shareholders) which puts our posterity in literal bondage for centuries to come. “I strongly oppose auditing the Federal Reserve,” said Federal Reserve chief Janet Yellen in 2015. Nice. Such a terrible idea like an audit is just too macabre for Yellen.

The fact that the U.S. government has to borrow its own money at interest from private mega banks in exchange for government bonds is something TED organizers are so concerned about they’re actually saving it for the last TED Talk. For now, you’ll have to go to an obscure YouTube channel for that content. There is something very insidious about high-tower elites thinking their ideas can better humanity. Anytime an entity is constituted on being ‘ready and raring to help!’, you should think USAID (United States Agency for International Development).

Look, the fact that these mega banks who set the interest rate which results in total leverage over the entire global economy is just something TED isn’t concerned with right now. These banks definitely aren’t controlling politicians through complex lobbying mechanisms called money. Oh, and the obscure and trivial fact that just 3 asset management firms are the majority shareholders of 90% of S&P 500 companies—which includes those pesky mega banks—is something TED will probably get to later when they’re finally done “Dismantling White Supremacy in Education”—the subject and title of a recent talk.

For now, TED is platforming bigger and better ideas—like their recent talk ‘Period Positivity”. A groundbreaking verbal discharge about making menstrual cycles less taboo…a truly existential crisis. Talk about bleeding hearts! Don’t miss the next installment in that series: “Poop Positivity.” Only positive shit from TED.

Sam exposed the vacuous concept of TED and its irony writ large. The fine-tuned audience, a part of this “neo-intellectual class” embracing innovation and rejecting dogma, are actually the epitome of dogmatic…eager to accept and applaud any authoritatively banal windbag who graces the stage…pre-supposing that big ideas are legitimized by a big TED banner. To these TED acolytes, credibility is derived not from “ideas” but institutions. Veracity is predicated on venue, and words like “free- thinker” adorning their laptops and bumpers, have become their liturgical mantras.

TED is a reflection of a new religion; one that adheres to the silicon priesthood of technocracy led by Bill Gates and the like. To the adherents, progress is the religion and science is the doctrine. To them, science is a prime mover in and of itself—not derived from human beings…with agendas…and bosses. In this doctrine of progression, science is not a mere objective methodology, but a word whittled down to consecration which they have linked inextricably with morality. Very unscientific.

TED is the academic equivalent to modern art in that, anything is validated when given the proper venue. When it’s in an art gallery, it’s art…period. When it’s in a TED Talk it’s virtuous…period. Sam exposed how Americans judge ideas based on institution, rather than judging institutions based on ideas. In the words of Socrates: “is it holy because it’s loved by god, or loved by god because it’s holy?” Sam Hyde would say, “is it virtuous because it’s in a TED Talk, or is it in a TED Talk because it’s virtuous?”

As for Sam’s ideas? The Washington Post, yes, the Washington Post, lapped up Hyde’s TED Talk, calling it “Glorious” and “subversive brilliance.” That itself my friends, sums up the genius of Sam Hyde and Paradigm Shift 2070. When it’s said at TED, you nod your head. It’s obvious they’d never write that about Hyde now, even if he really was in Mogadishu sweeping up shrapnel. It doesn’t matter, though, because as you know, we looked at the data…and studies show that ideas never die, they only Hyde.

“In jest, there is truth.” -William Shakespeare

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