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FTN Merch Is Back!



All / nothing. Always / never. Total hero / literally the worst thing ever. Proudly showcase the single-pole double-throw grug brain mentality to the world with our new shirt, designed by FTN’s very own artist, Kyle. Have you seen his art?

After a two-year hiatus from producing merch, we’re BACK– with some changes.

Like last time, these shirts are 100% super-soft cotton. They fit snug around the arms, sure to accentuate even the most corona-atrophied physique.

Here it is being modeled by our very own SVEN!

And here it is, hanging alongside other choice wignat fashion essentials:



What’s different this time: it’s all being done in-house. Or, perhaps more accurately, in-basement and in-hatchback to the post office. The site, payment methods, shipping- we’re managing all of it. No six months delays or unfulfilled orders this time around: if you order, you’ll get your merch.

Also: we now support a variety of payment options including Bitcoin, Litecoin, and money orders. If you want to pay another way, submit your order and we will reach out with options.

Speaking of which- how do you order?

Visit and follow the instructions there.

Get your order in before August 5th and it will ship in the first batch (estimated arrival to you in late August.)

If you order between the 5th and 17th, you will receive your shirt in early September.




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